My room smells like vodka and shame
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
