why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
