Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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