Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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