just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
