the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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