bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
