is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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