i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
NoShamevember. You game?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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