We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
