Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Is it penis luge time yet?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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