I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
