His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
