Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
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I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
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He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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