I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
