Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
