If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
