I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
