i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize