And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
