I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
