u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
