The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
