You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
