No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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