Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
