So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
