id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
