Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
