i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
