It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
