I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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