That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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