carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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