Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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