Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize