I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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