i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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