why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
