Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So here I am, sexting at work.
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