I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
