Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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