Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
