There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
