I seem to have left my pride at pride
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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