# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
