It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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