Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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