how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
