Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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