Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
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So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
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We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?