I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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