this must be what syphilis tastes like
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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