Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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