It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
