I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
