And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the day after is always just damage control
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
