We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
