I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
