My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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