Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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